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Falling in-love just happens. What happens next is up to you. It could last you a minute, a night, a month, a lifetime. Your choice.
Strange that I expected to feel something different after the wedding. It was merely a ceremony afterall. If I hadn’t known what kind of person my husband was, I surely would have been in for a huge surprise. To be honest I secretly hoped our relationship would improve soon after since the ceremony was very important to him. But it did not. The ceremony merely seemed to seal my fate, seeing as we don’t have divorce in this country. But I have no regrets. (just yet..)
There is a certain degree of co-dependence between couples who live together. (married or not) For me the strangest would be the need to sleep next to him. There is just something very comforting about sleeping next to your partner. I don’t know what it is really. Could be the pheromones, perhaps the shared warmth..but it most probably would be because of the back-scratching I get from him. Most couples eventually develop a sleeping habit together. One of my married friends told me that they have to have their legs touching side by side in order for both of them to fall asleep. (now isn’t that nice?)
Most of the time I feel that things weren’t real until I shared them with my husband. For some reason, telling him what happened validates the event. But it doesn’t really. That’s just the way I see things. I think a lot of women feel this way too. But I am not too sure. I could be among the weird ones..
I wish I could be as optimistic as bylariza when it comes to being in-love. But I am convinced that I won’t always be in-love with my husband. I could attempt to stay in-love, but I could only do so much. I am a firm believer though that marriages or any partnership for that matter work for a really really long time by making good choices. It is not enough that I am in-love with him. I must make a conscious choice to love him inspite of all the wrong he has done me, and all the difficult things he will put me through. I could stay positive, and see the good in him. Hopefully that will help me stay in-love with him for a long long time. (i’m hoping for ten years at least..) And if one morning I wake up and see that the face I used to like so much cannot make me smile, I hope I could let it slide and try my best to love the man I used to be so in-love with.
It is a given. Life is not easy. But we could always complain. That’s what friends are there for right? 
While it is true that nothing is ever certain, (which makes life so difficult, really) we can always strive to work hard for our goals. We always have the option of giving our best in everything we do. After that we can only hope that things would fall into place. But we really must remember to do our best first. That way when we look back, we won’t have any regrets.
There is so much that anyone can do with his life. But to be everywhere is to be nowhere. It is important to make a choice and commit to it wholeheartedly. There is no other way to achieve wholeness. The question would then be, how do we make that choice?
First, it must be done with complete honesty. It is impossible for a heart to not know what it wants. What troubles the heart are things that concern the mind. Finances, other possibilities and fear. Second important thing is clarity. When we accept the truest desires of our heart, the mind becomes clear. The first step can be taken then.
It sounds awfully easy. Why then is my life miserable right now? I have made a choice and have worked hard for it and yet I have not achieved all that I would have liked to.
I am caught between the fates. There are things that we will not be able to control. This is where faith comes in. A blind belief that the chance was not taken away from you permanently. A blind belief that another moment will give you the opportunity to grab that which you want the most. Nothing to do but wait.
When life tosses you around and you find it hard to stay afloat, friends should be handy. A phone call, an email..complaints all around. Complaining about a problem to a friend doesn’t fix the problem. But it makes you feel less lonely. Really. It helps to know that someone knows about your plight. (be it big or small..)
